The query letter, bane of all existence

So I’m putting together a new round of queries for my Vanquish series. I find myself confronted with the same old doubts. Am I saying too little in the opening paragraphs of my query, the part that is supposed to speak directly to the agent and get their attention, or, do I just lay out the story and thank them for my time? Since I’ve collected only a few responses besides “thanks but no”, its difficult to measure. What do you think?

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